What Colors the Steel Sky Blue

I get a call from my mom one afternoon telling me that I had to call this number and make dinner arrangements with one of her good friends from Istanbul and her daughter. Even before I hung up the phone I knew that a trying evening was to follow but when you're laid off, and unemployed for month's on end, it becomes increasingly hard to come up with excuses for unwanted social engagements. It seemed I had used all the good excuses with my parents, and now I could not say no. I wrote down the number on a crowded piece of paper and hung up the phone.

I picked up the phone again and called the number right away; mostly because I knew if I hesitated I would find a perfectly reasonable activity to help me procrastinate. A familiar voice picked up on the other line. It was Mine Hanim, the mother, an opinionated but well-meaning lady in her late forties. Last time I saw her was when we had visited them at their hotel down in the south part of Turkey. I liked her, she did not seem to fear what other people thought. It seems that although everyone seems to be advocating free expression these days there are still relatively few people that have anything dramatic and worthy to say. Well she was interesting, unique, somewhat dramatic but overall a good host, and a caring wife. He was one of the most successful businessmen in Turkey but had recently lost his beloved first wife and found himself at the center of a void he alone could not fill. So against his own intuition and with the insistence of his friends he had agreed to meet and later go on dates with her. Apparently, they hit it off right away. Good for them I thought when I heard their story. They seemed to complement each other.

I was trying to focus on the positive. I liked Mine Hanim; spending a night with her and having dinner was hardly a burden really. It was more of my social inertia that was in the way. I have to ramp myself up to a certain level before I can comfortably interact with others. I know that many people have this issue, and most use alcohol for help; only in my case alcohol does not work. Drinks just make me tired and miserable.

She recognized my voice immediately. I guessed she had been waiting for my call a while. It made me feel bad, although I had not wasted any time before calling them. We made our plans quickly. She confirmed that Uftade, her daughter, was with her and she was going to come along to dinner with us.

I made reservations at VONG for a party of three, then jumped in the shower. I got ready in a hurry. It was almost dinner time. Soon I was on the street begging the taxi cab gods to grant me my wish. Finally a cab stopped in front of me and we headed our speed limit trying, nerves grinding, bumper scratching rush ride uptown. Vong is located at the corner of 54th street and Lexington.

I always found that it was easier to go uptown on the east side of Manhattan. West side always seemed to be such a mess; especially if you were planning switch from East to West side while also going uptown you were screwed. It was almost better to take the subway in that case.

The cab arrived at the restaurant within fifteen minutes and I was right on time. I stepped out of the vab to find Mine Hanim and Uftade waiting in front of the restaurant somewhat impatiently. This is the thing about Turkish women, even when you do things right, you are made to feel that you've done something wrong. I was on time but according to Turkish female central time I was fifteen minutes late.

Uftade, the daughter, took one look at me, and I could tell she was not at all impressed. The smile on her face dissolved into an expression that clearly said, ummm is this why I am not hanging out with my wild rocker boyfriend tonight??

Inside the restaurant, we were quickly seated and we were soon exploring the exotic menu while snacking on the special flat breads and the wonderful peanut butter based spread.

Uftade did not speak a word for the longest time. It was already a very awkward meal and we had not even hit the first course yet. Mine Hanim was trying to compensate for the silence. She kept starting her sentences saying "Uftade here, thinks..... Uftade here has, Uftade here is doing.... etc." Uftade on the otherhand had this strange smirk on her face like a Halloween pumpkin and it went from annoying to down right rude towards the middle of the meal.

Luckily by that point both the mother and daughter were getting slightly tipsy from their wine so Uftade started opening up and finally saying a word or two. Then suddenly she decided to give me the Uftade coolness test that comprised of several questions about my habits and my wildest moments in life. I failed miserably, having lived most of my life as safely and as ordinary as possible.

The night continued and by the time we hit the dessert I was wishing she had not opened up in the first place. She had already told me that I was living in a crappy part of town and that my apartment was probably not all that good considering the neighborhood. She also told me that I was a way boring person for not going skiing ever. It was weird, she was raging a free for all insulting war on me hidden in the skin of ordinary conversation and I could not even care to respond back to all the stabs.

I somehow felt above it all, although it hurt me still that a complete stranger could be so rash with my feelings.

The night ended with Mine Hanim insisting on paying the tab and getting us all into a cab for a ride back to our apartments. They also stayed downtown so sharing a cab somewhat made sense except it prolonged the torture I was in, and it was a bit of a false economy considering we had probably parted with $300 for dinner.

I stepped out of the cab on 14th street and 3rd Avenue then exhaled; it was over.